(first post!) So here's the thing...

I've been dying to jump into the "blogosphere" for several months now but to be honest, the task has been daunting! I'm not sure what I find so intimidating about starting up a blog again (I had several blogs in high school that I used regularly) but for some reason I've been hesitant.  Maybe it's because looking at the blogs of my adolescence and the things I wrote back then is humiliating. Actually, yeah... I'm pretty sure that's exactly why I'm hesitant. (Along with an incident when I was confronted by a gal on Pinterest who accused me of plagiarizing her crafts. But I digress...)

But as I'm well on my way toward graduation and a great new chapter of my life (yes!) I know it's time to start documenting and sharing my experiences! Are you excited? Because I am!

I was going to go on to share some facts about myself... but I don't want my first post to be exhaustive. Plus, if I share too much in the first post you won't come back for more. Right? Is that how it works?

So here it is, guys! My first post ever (on my new blog).

My following posts will be more interesting than this one, I promise.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

A Proverbial Fork in the Road

Disclaimer: This is a venting post. If you don't want to hear me whine, stop reading.

So God has been testing me this week. As of Monday, our hot water and electricity got shut off due to some miscommunications with the electric company and poor maintenance of our water heater pilot light (I'm beginning to despise the previous tenants of this house).

Fortunately, my roommate and I were able to spend the night at my friend/co-worker Amanda's house Monday, which actually ended up being fun because it turned into an impromptu LOST night. Also I was able to eat dinner and take a shower, which was much needed.

Last night we were planning on toughing it out, living rustically, and going to bed early when the electric company truck pulled up around 9pm and our power got turned on. Even though this drama only spanned 3 days, it seemed like much longer. Not only were we having a mini physical crisis, things with the roommate reached somewhat of a breaking point. I mean, you know things are bad when you have a mental breakdown on your lunch break.

The real problem wasn't the lack of electricity. It was the feeling of being out of control and exposed. This little blackout decided to happen in the midst of other difficult things going on within my personal life, and it was the straw that broke the camel's back. I didn't handle the situation well, and I may or may not have been a mean person to my roommate.

Let me explain why I was not a nice person: In the past, I didn't allow myself to get too emotionally close to my roommates. I have the tendency to close myself off from people.
This time around, I can feel the walls coming down and my roommate pushing her way through the cast-iron barrier that encloses my fragile container of precious thoughts and emotions... and that scares me! At this point, I can do one of two things: either put up some more walls to further protect myself from being discovered (oh the horrors of being found out! That I am imperfect and flawed and don't have all my stuff together!) or allow myself to open up and be vulnerable and grow as an emotional human being, learning how to express my emotions and connect with another human being on an emotionally intimate level.

Hmmm...
I obviously know which route I need to choose, but it's scary and difficult and is gonna take a whole lot of trust.

And to think that all of this came from having a broken pilot light on the water heater.

God sure is is a sneaky God.

An End of an Era (a some-what deep post)

Friends! I'm sorry I haven't blogged in so long. These past 2 weeks have been completely insane. I'm gonna save you from a drawn-out post blabbering about everything that's happened, and give you a bullet list:

• Applied for rental house 
• Completed several of end-of-semester projects 
• Got accepted for rental house 
• Turned 21 
• Applied and interviewed for promotion at work 
• Got said promotion 
• My boyfriend, Zach moved back to San Diego
• Completed "dead week" and finals
• Moved out of apartment
• Watched Tegan and other friends graduate
• Moved into rental house

hmm. I guess when I actually write it out, it doesn't seem like that much. But I'm telling you it was brutal! I don't remember the last time I went to bed before midnight and I've been stress eating like none other (white girl problems).

Getting to the point of this post:

The end of a school year has always marked change for me. I advance into another academic year, my friends all go home for the summer, I change my lifestyle from doing nonstop class work to slowing down and shifting my focus... even the return of summer (the season) always provokes a change in attitude and perspective. But this year's change is significant. After 3 years of living on campus (and going through 8 roommates... a skeleton in my closet to be discussed at a later date), I am finally moved out of University Village and into a house off campus. Additionally, a ton of my friends graduated and will soon be getting married and seeing them again will take a large amount of effort on my part (who knows where they will settle?).

While I'm excited to be on my own and get to know my new roommates better, I'm really going to miss my old roommates and the ease of living on campus. Along with turning 21, this house thing is a milestone of my life and the thought that I am currently inside of a milestone is somewhat terrifying! I'm drowning in the milestone! But at the same time, it is really exciting. As stressful as it's been, I'm very thankful for all of the changes that have happened because I know all of them will be greatly beneficial in the long run.

All of that being said, things are changing and I'm really excited about it. Look forward to more blogs about the new things in my life!